1. Never try to prove to anybody that you are not an idiot, that you are good at anything, and whatever you love doing is really worth doing. It just does not work. Instead carry on quietly like nobodies watching (they aren't), assume you are an idiot so you have everything to learn, work hard to get good at what you do, and know that it’s worth doing because you love it. If you get really good people may notice and give you money, but don’t hold your breath.
2.When you’re depressed or just not towing the line the people closest to you will all go through the following cycle; The nurturing phase where they want to listen to your problems, lend you money, and help you get back on your feet. This is followed closely by the angry phase where they are furious at you for not telling them your problems, giving back their money or having the decency to get back on your feet. This is followed by the freeze: A period of not talking, not calling, not texting not emailing, because, well what the fuck is wrong with you? The first two phases have a relatively short lifespan, the last one can go on indefinitely
3.The pills may be bullshit. Hey, we’re all thinking it, I just said it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m on pills. I have a small pharmacy in my handbag supposed to keep me from going off the rails. But new research shows that anti-depressants have psychological side effects that include emotional numbing, less ability to care for other people and…..wait for it…suicidal tendencies. Yes folks, the very thing you’re taking to avoid offing yourself may be causing you to want to. As a side note I tried to commit suicide about five months after I started a course of anti-depressants. Eh, probably coincidence.
4.Get a dog. And if a dog’s too much effort get a rat. My friend knows he will never walk a dog, so he has rats. He says it helps. Dogs do.
5.If you’re really in the worst of it. You need to shower. Yes your hair really is that dirty. No you did not shower yesterday. Yes I know you’d chew off your own feet if it meant avoiding standing up right now. But you need a shower.
6.Shame and guilt are a form of laziness.Anything that blocks you from acting, anything that takes over your mind like shame and guilt do, replaying scenes from your life where you fucked up, is energy wasted where you could have used it to do something you can be proud of instead.
7.You have to work hard. Everyday. There’s no way out of this, so don’t even start with the excuses, you’re just prolonging the agony.
8.There are people out there who can make you feel better, but you will probably never meet them personally. I can’t tell you how many times I was near hysterical with tears at 4 am , alone and unable to sleep.You know what helped? James Altucher. I would finally go onto his blog and read one of his posts where he says it’s ok to fuck up, that he’s fucked up plenty and this is what you do about it. A New York Hedge fund manager and founder of like a bazillion companies has never failed to sooth me to sleep. There’s others too, Marcus Aurelius, Osho, Mary Oliver, all of them came to me and gave me a little peace when I needed it most. Look for these travelers of time and space who can reach you wherever you are.
9.Things always change.
10.Some people are going to hate you. This isn't a good reason to hate yourself.
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