The Gut Feeling

Learning To Act On It

I have done quite a variety of conventional jobs in the past. The one that comes to mind is when I used to design wedding invitations. It wasn't the worst job in the world. I worked for a chain of these paper places that's main business was catering to event stationary. I got to be creative. I was more or less in charge of the design process in the shop. When things got hectic I had a budget for hiring assistants. I wanted to kill myself on a daily basis.

We all have this sick feeling in our gut when it comes to doing certain things. I don't do any sort of conventional work anymore. No nine-to-five, nothing that involves paper work. I used to believe the lie. That not wanting to do certain things makes me a terrible person. It took me a while to realize that I have the innate right to try to be happy above all else.

Imagine my surprise, I do better financially now than I did when I used to 'work'. That doesn't matter to me though, but it's fine if it does to you. There is nothing wrong with wanting money, or the fun stupid stuff it can buy you. What does matter to me is that feeling, the sensation of genuinely hating every moment of your life, because that isn't you.

That gut feeling, the thing that makes you want to walk into work, spit on your boss' stupid face, do a U-turn, and run for the hills. We have been taught that it's a bad thing, that we must ignore it at all costs. The ethos seems to be 'You are supposed to be miserable, if you are happy, it can't really be work'. Stop believing that. Now.

I ask this a lot. What would make you happy?

The only way to form an idea of it is to think of stuff you would like to do, and see how that makes your gut instinct feel. It's very easy to come up with ideas. I can easily think I would love to be an astronaut. That involves a lot of junk that one doesn't think of straight away. A quick Google search of what it actually means to do be that and my gut says '...hell no'.

It's more than just the work you do. It's the life you live. It's almost mind blowing when you step way back from everything in your life, and ask yourself 'why?'.

If your stomach turns in any of these topics, here are some insights:

Your Stupid Job:

1. So if you quit your stupid job people are going to be disappointed? Screw those people, you should be pissed off at them, essentially they are placing their narrative of what you should be above your needs and happiness. Get drunk tonight and go dance on their flower beds, they deserve it.

2. If you quit you may not get a better job? Good, you hate this job, a better one in the same line means more misery. When you stop doing a thing, stop doing it holistically, don't just stop doing this job. You need a plan. I will discuss this elsewhere, but if you don't have a plan on how to get out for good, you will simply end up replacing bosses, and nothing more.

If you quit your job you will be homeless? Yes. Yes you will, unless you have a plan, once again. If you really can't take it anymore, here is a quick one you can borrow. Go to your nearest bar, a nice one (but not your favorite one) and ask for a job. If you are a female, this should be easy, if you aren't, well try every bar until someone says yes. Say you will start tomorrow.

Go to work, quit your job. If your boss asks for notice, start crying and vomiting at the same time while spinning in circles. Once security has removed you, you now have the added benefit of having ensured that despite any temptation brought on by fear, you can't go back to that hell hole. Now that you have a bar job, figure out what you want to do, and start. This is not the only way you can do this, it's just one way that works.  

Your Stupid People:

1. Are there people that are making you miserable, but you can't remove them from your life? Why? 'Because they are friends/family/crab-people who really need me right now' is a terribly silly answer. It doesn't matter what you feel you owe people, or what they feel you owe them. YOU DO NOT OWE THEM YOUR HAPPINESS.

If just chucking these people makes you equally unhappy, then help them figure out how to get by without you. You don't need to tell them this is what you are doing, but do. If you are a bit more sensible and realize that the aforementioned method probably wont work, then just get out of the situation, or make it leave. Set a deadline, stick by it, and to hell with the fallout.

2. If someone is holding you 'hostage'*, be that emotionally, financially, or whatever, then just break that off. If you are being threatened in some way with some sort of reaction from someone, being nice about it is out right retarded. They are going to do it to you at some point anyway, there is nothing you can do. And you are going to be left regretting the time you wasted when you should have just sent them on their merry way and dealt with whatever the consequence is.

*If you are actually literally being held hostage I am not sure this blog is what you should be doing with that phone you had hid in your undies.

3. If you really love someone and they are making you miserable, come back to this blog when you have stopped being twelve. For god's sake, there are swears on this thing.

Your Stupid Stuff:

1. There are really only a few things to be said here. If you are trapped by owning stuff, sell said stuff. You can use the money to start whatever you actually want to do, or pay off a large chunk of what you might owe on that or other stuff. What's that? Selling stuff sounds like a terrible idea, even if you don't need it? Well then stay trapped, let me know how that works out for you.

2. If the 'stuff' is something you may need to do whatever it is you actually want to do, then keep it. Try to make money off it as soon as possible, that way if you get sued later, it cannot be taken from you as it is a means of income. Try to make a plan on how you are going to pay it.

As an example though, if you are an aspiring photographer, don't buy the most expensive camera equipment, get only the most basic things you need to start. You can build up with time. Also stop calling yourself an aspiring photographer. Whatever it is you want to be, you are that RIGHT NOW, so just go do it.

It's invariably up to you when you are going to start living. Nothing is really holding you back, you are allowing yourself to be where you are. For many, familiarity equals security. If you are unhappy then familiarity also equals misery.

The gut feeling is your thermometer, learn how to follow it.

Here is a link to a blog of a friend who is in the process of building her own life, you can read some of the insights and struggles and check out her awesome photography.

http://jackieblackford.blogspot.com/

Also be sure to check out Fish Seeks Hook

http://fishseekinghook.blogspot.com/

Thanks for reading.